• When Good Intentions Go Wrong

• The Goldilocks Principle And What It Has to Do With Leadership

• The Three Zones

• Why This Matters for Leaders

• A Simple Calibration Technique

• Common Pitfalls (and How to Avoid Them)

• Final Thoughts

When Good Intentions Go Wrong

A few years ago, I had a senior engineer on my team - Chris - who was sharp, experienced, and someone who had been writing production code longer than some of his peers had been in the industry.

And I was checking in on him…. a lot.

It wasn’t because I didn’t trust him. I actually thought I was being a “good manager”. I wanted to stay close to the work, so I asked questions in every 1-on-1, and I even reviewed his designs before he shared them with the team. I shared my feedback.

I was involved.

Six months later, he came to me and said he was leaving. When I asked why, he said something I wasn’t expecting at all: “I feel like I’m not trusted to do my job.”

The opposite has also happened to me. I’ve watched a new hire who joined fresh from college go quiet for weeks because her manager gave her a project and disappeared. The manager thought he was empowering her by giving her full autonomy - no direction, no check-ins, no guardrails.

And guess what - the new hire felt less “empowered” and more lost.

Those were two situations. Two different managers, both well-intentioned, and both wrong.

Most leaders default to a style, and then apply it to everyone. That’s the problem the Goldilocks Principle helps you solve.

The Goldilocks Principle And What It Has to Do With Leadership

The Goldilocks Principle comes from a concept in science, particularly astronomy, where something has to fall within a certain range to work: not too hot, not too cold, but just right.

The Earth sits in the “Goldilocks zone” around the sun, where liquid water can exist, and life can thrive.

The fairy tale (that you may have read as a kid) captures the same idea: not too big, not too small. Not too hard, not too soft. The third bowl, the third chair, the third bed… just right.

When applied to leadership, the principle asks a deceptively simple question:

This sounds obvious, but in practice, it’s one of the hardest things to get right.

The Three Zones

Think of your leadership support as a dial that goes from one extreme to the other.

Read more

Many new managers believe that managing high performers would be the easier part of leadership. Early in my management career, I had the exact same belief.

After all, these were the people every manager wanted on their team: smart, driven, reliable, and capable of solving difficult problems with very little oversight. I assumed they would naturally require less support, less guidance, and less attention than everyone else.

Over time, I realized how wrong that assumption was.

Across two decades of leading engineering teams, platform initiatives, and large-scale technology transformations, I learned that high performers do not need “less” leadership. They need a very different kind of leadership.

Here are five leadership lessons I learned the hard way while managing smart, ambitious people.

1. High Performers Need Context, Not Control

One of the biggest mistakes leaders make with talented employees is over-managing them.

High performers generally do not resist accountability, but they do resist unnecessary control. The smartest people I have worked with rarely wanted detailed instructions on how to execute something.

I noticed this repeatedly while leading teams working on mobile and cloud platform initiatives.

Once strong engineers understood the strategic context and customer impact, they typically found better solutions than the ones I would have prescribed myself.

That experience fundamentally changed how I approached leadership. I stopped thinking of management as directing execution and started thinking of it as creating alignment and enabling ownership.

2. Recognition Matters More Than Most Leaders Realize

There is a dangerous assumption many managers make about high performers: because they appear confident and successful externally, they must already know how valuable they are.

In reality, many high performers operate under immense pressure that leaders rarely see. They handle the hardest projects, become the default escalation point for teams, and carry expectations that continue increasing year after year.

I have seen exceptional employees burn out not because the work itself was difficult, but because their effort started feeling invisible.

Leaders unintentionally stop acknowledging contributions because high performance becomes expected behavior. Ironically, the more reliable someone becomes, the less recognition they often receive.

3. High Performers Get Bored Faster Than Everyone Else

Many leaders believe compensation is the primary factor that retains top talent.

Compensation certainly matters, but in my experience, growth matters far more. High performers are usually internally driven people. They enjoy solving difficult problems, learning new skills, and pushing themselves into unfamiliar territory. The moment work becomes repetitive, stagnant, or overly political, their motivation begins declining.

Throughout my career, I noticed that the strongest employees consistently gravitated toward difficult and meaningful challenges.

During major platform modernization efforts, mobile initiatives, and cloud transformations, the most ambitious individuals were energized by uncertainty and scale. They wanted ownership, influence, and opportunities to build something impactful.

4. High Performers Need Air Cover More Than Advice

One of the most important leadership lessons I learned was that high performers often need protection more than advice.

Many managers assume their primary responsibility is helping with execution by coaching and advising.

As people become more effective, organizations naturally pull more demands toward them. Everyone wants their input, their participation, and their pulled in all directions.

One of the greatest gifts a manager can give a high performer is the ability to work deeply on meaningful problems without constant organizational interference. That’s the air cover they’re looking for.

5. High Performers Can Become Team Risks If Left Unmanaged

One of the most uncomfortable leadership truths is that not every high performer strengthens the team around them.

Some, whom I like to call “brilliant jerks”, weaken it.

I have seen extremely talented employees create unhealthy dynamics because leaders tolerated their problematic behavior in exchange for strong results.

This was one of the hardest lessons I learned as a leader because it forced me to rethink the relationship between performance and culture. Early in my career, I occasionally overvalued raw capability.

Over time, I realized that sustainable high performance requires more than individual brilliance. It requires trust, collaboration, and collective effectiveness, not individual brilliance.

Final Thoughts

Managing high performers is about channeling the potential without suffocating it. It is about creating a culture where everyone thrives and grows.

If you’re looking for a step-by-step system to build a high-performance team culture, you can check out The Ultimate Leadership Toolkit. It’s a simple, practical system, designed for leaders like you. Explore the full system and start using it today.

👋 Let’s connect: LinkedIn · Substack

• The Promotion That Backfired

• What the Peter Principle Really Says

• The Competence Cliff: Why Promotions Create New Incompetence

• Why This Matters for Leaders

• Putting the Peter Principle Into Practice

• The One Shift: Promote for the Next Role, Not the Last One

• How This Plays Out in Real Teams

• Common Pitfalls (and How to Avoid Them)

• Final Thoughts

The Promotion That Backfired

A few years ago, I made a promotion decision I was completely convinced was the right one.

Arjun had been on my team for three years. He was the kind of engineer every manager wants: technically sharp, always delivered on time, and the person others came to when they were stuck. When a senior engineering role opened up, his name was the first one that came to my mind. It felt like a no-brainer. So, I promoted him to that role.

Six months later, Arjun was struggling.

The new role required him to lead a small sub-team, drive cross-functional alignment, and make architectural decisions that involved trade-offs he’d never had to navigate before.

And the skills that had made him exceptional at the first thing weren’t the same skills the second thing demanded.

To be clear, he wasn’t failing because he wasn’t talented. He was smart, talented, and motivated. He was failing because I had promoted him into a role he wasn’t ready for, and I hadn’t done enough to prepare him for it.

What I experienced wasn’t just bad luck. I’ve seen countless managers repeat this over and over again. There’s a pattern behind it, and once you see it, you’ll start noticing it everywhere.

It’s called the Peter Principle.

What the Peter Principle Really Says

The Peter Principle was introduced by Dr. Laurence J. Peter and Raymond Hull in their 1969 book of the same name. The idea is deceptively simple:

Here’s what that means in practice. When someone does their job well, they get promoted. When they do the new job well, they get promoted again. This continues until they reach a role where they can no longer perform effectively. And there, they stay.

The uncomfortable implication is this: over time, most roles in most organizations end up being filled by people who are not quite right for them. And this isn’t because of bad intentions, but because of how the system works.

But here’s what often gets missed. The Peter Principle isn’t really about the people. It’s about the logic of promotion itself.

We promote people based on what they’ve already done, i.e., their past performance in their current role. But the next role is fundamentally different. It demands different skills, different thinking, and different behavior.

Past performance is a signal of what someone has done. It says very little about what they’re ready to do next. The problem is that most organizations use past performance as a leading indicator for future performance, which can be highly misleading.

The Competence Cliff: Why Promotions Create New Incompetence

Think of it as a cliff.

• On one side, your best individual contributor: someone who has mastered their craft, earned the trust of the team, and consistently delivered results.

• On the other side, the new role they’ve just stepped into: one that looks similar on the org chart, but requires an entirely different set of capabilities.

What got them to the promotion is rarely what they need after it.

This gap is what I call the Competence Cliff. And the bigger the jump between roles, the steeper the cliff.

The problem isn’t that people can’t develop these new skills. Most smart individuals can, and most eventually do. The problem is that we rarely prepare them for the cliff before they have to jump off it.

Why This Matters for Leaders

If you’re a manager or a leader, the Peter Principle isn’t just an interesting observation. You should think of it as a mirror.

Every time you make a promotion decision, you are either setting someone up to grow, or (unintentionally) setting them up to fail.

And most of the time, when someone struggles after a promotion, the blame lands on them. We say that they weren’t ready, or they couldn’t handle it, etc.

But the real question to ask is:

• Who decided they were ready?

• Who prepared them for it?

• Who supported them through the transition?

The cost of getting this wrong is real, and it shows up slowly, but surely.

• The individual loses confidence. Someone who was once a star performer now feels like they’re in over their head, every single day. That creates a persistent self-doubt that leaves a mark in their confidence and motivation.

• The team loses stability. A struggling leader creates confusion and instability. Team members start going around them, or disengaging, or leaving altogether.

• And the organization loses twice. Once when the high performer stops doing what they were great at, and again when the new role they’ve stepped into isn’t being led well.

The Peter Principle is a leadership problem, not a people problem. And that means it’s yours to solve.

Putting the Peter Principle Into Practice

For the rest of this article, we will focus our attention on putting the Peter Principle into practice in your own organization.

As we do that, don’t forget to download the following resources:

• Peter Principle Worksheet: Use this to evaluate your team members and assess their readiness for the next role, not just their performance in their current one. The worksheet walks you through prompts to map skill gaps, identify growth signals, and design the right support for each person’s transition.

• Peter Principle Mind-map: Use this as a quick visual refresher on the framework, and as a guide you can return to whenever you’re facing a promotion decision.

These resources are part of The Good Boss Practitioner resource library, available to all paid subscribers to The Good Boss.

⬇️ Already a member? Download these from your Resource Library.

The One Shift: Promote for the Next Role, Not the Last One

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I once walked out of a team meeting thinking… “That went surprisingly well.”

Everyone in the room agreed to what I had to say. There was no pushback, not even any difficult questions. I felt good about myself - I thought my team really trusted me as a leader.

But later that evening, one of my senior engineers, whom I had known for many years, messaged me privately. He mentioned that many of the team members actually did have concerns, they just didn’t feel comfortable raising them in the room earlier.

That took me a while to digest, but later I realized what was going on.

As leaders, we often assume that trust looks like agreement. But in reality, agreement can sometimes be just avoidance.

And over the years, I’ve realized that low trust rarely shows up through subtle behavioral patterns leaders often miss entirely.

Here are five of them.

1. Meetings Feel “Too Smooth”

This was the sign I missed in the team meeting I referred to earlier.

At first glance, smooth meetings feel like a leadership win. After all, by default, we don’t really like tension, conflict, or cross-questioning. And let’s face it: who doesn’t like the ‘nods’?

But the reality is that healthy teams are rarely as “smooth”.

One of the clearest signs of declining trust is the lack of honest disagreement.

Try asking “Any concerns?” and if all you hear is “Nope, all good,” you have something to worry about. People often stop disagreeing openly, even when they disagree internally. When there is a lack of trust, team members learn what feels “safe” to say, and what doesn’t, and once that happens, the meetings become performative.

Sometimes the calmest meetings are the most dangerous ones.

2. Problems Reach You Too Late

When teams consistently bring issues to you late, it’s rarely just a process problem. It’s often a trust problem.

A delayed escalation usually means someone spent time debating whether they should tell you yet, and there could be a lack of trust hidden in that debate.

Teams that don’t trust leaders often wait until the issue becomes unavoidable, or they’ve exhausted every option. They don’t trust how you will react, and they want to delay any emotional frustration or stress.

That’s why leadership reactions matter so much. How you react to your team’s problems teaches them what will feel safe to share next time.

3. Your Team Keeps Seeking Permission for Small Decisions

One subtle sign of low trust is excessive approval-seeking.

You notice that small decisions are getting escalated to you, and the team is hesitating to take independent action.

This could happen if the team doesn’t feel safe making mistakes, for not knowing how you will react if you find out. So they decide to take the safe route of asking first rather than making their own decisions.

I’ve seen highly capable employees become surprisingly passive under controlling leaders.

4. Nobody Gives You Honest Feedback Anymore

The higher a leader rises in the corporate hierarchy, the less truth he naturally hears.

Power changes communication, and people start filtering what’s safe to say, what’s risky, and what might create tension.

But behind the doors, the concerns don’t disappear - they’re still being discussed privately.

Trust is not measured by how respectfully people speak to leaders. It’s measured by how safely people can speak against them.

One of the strongest leaders I ever worked with had a simple habit during reviews and discussions. He would pause and ask - “Tell me what I’m not seeing.” That immediately lowered the risk of people speaking honestly.

Strong leaders don’t just tolerate feedback, they actively make it safer to give.

5. The Energy Changes When You Enter the Room

Watch what happens emotionally when you join a room or call. Do conversations suddenly become more formal, more cautious, less spontaneous?

Do people sound measured?

Teams that trust leaders relax around them, and don’t need to watch every single word they say. They’re not worried about predicting the emotional response of the leader.

When leaders become emotionally unpredictable, teams start being measured and careful around them, and that kills the trust in the team.

Building a High-Trust Team

A team that always agrees with you may not trust you enough to tell you the truth.

So, how do you build a high-trust team? If you’re looking for a step-by-step system to build trust, you can check out The Ultimate Leadership Toolkit.

It’s a simple, practical system you can use to build a high-trust team. Explore the full system and start using it today.

👋 Let’s connect: LinkedIn · Substack

• The Strategy Meeting That Went Nowhere

• The Hedgehog Concept: What It Is

• The Three Circles

• Why This Matters for Leaders

• Putting the Hedgehog Concept Into Practice

• The One Question That Changes Everything

• How This Plays Out in Real Teams

• Common Pitfalls (and How to Avoid Them)

• Final Thoughts

The Strategy Meeting That Went Nowhere

A few years ago, I sat in one of the most exhausting planning meetings of my career.

We had eight initiatives on the table. Each one had a sponsor, a slide deck, and a compelling argument for why it was critical. By the end of the session, we had agreed to pursue all eight. And predictably, everyone left the room feeling excited.

Six months later, we had made meaningful progress on exactly two of them. The rest had slowed, stalled, or just deprioritized. And the teams that were working on those initiatives were tired, exhausted, and frustrated. When I asked team leads what we were actually focused on, nobody could give me a clean answer.

And here’s what struck me: We had a bunch of smart managers and engineers, and we hadn’t failed because of a lack of effort, or talent, or even resources. We had never honestly asked ourselves: what are we actually best at?

That question, simple as it sounds, is one of the hardest things for a leader to answer with real honesty. And it’s at the heart of a framework that I wish I had known earlier in my leadership journey.

It’s called the Hedgehog Concept.

Ready to dive in? Let’s go!

The Hedgehog Concept: What It Is

The Hedgehog Concept comes from Jim Collins’ landmark book Good to Great, published in 2001. (and one of my all-time favorite leadership books, if I may add).

Collins and his research team spent years studying companies that had made a sustained leap from good performance to truly exceptional results, and trying to understand why. One of the clearest patterns they found was this:

The distinction comes from an ancient Greek parable, attributed to the poet Archilochus: “The fox knows many things, but the hedgehog knows one big thing.”

A fox is clever, fast, and always trying new approaches. It chases multiple strategies, adapts constantly, and is never short of ideas. A hedgehog, on the other hand, does one thing: It rolls into a ball, every time, and… it works.

Collins found that leaders and organizations that tried to be foxes, pursuing multiple strategies, chasing every opportunity, pivoting when things got hard, consistently underperformed. The ones that identified their one big thing and pursued it with sharp, disciplined focus were the ones that won.

The uncomfortable truth for most leaders, including myself, is that we are trained to think that more is better. More initiatives, more bets, more growth vectors.

The Hedgehog Concept pushes back hard on that instinct.

The Three Circles

So how do you find your one big thing?

Collins describes it as the intersection of three questions — what he calls the Three Circles.

Circle 1: What are you deeply passionate about?

This isn’t what you think you should be passionate about, or what looks good in a strategy deck.

It is what genuinely energises your team. What kind of work creates real enthusiasm, not just compliance?

This is important because passion is fuel. Without it, even the most talented teams eventually lose momentum.

Circle 2: What can you be the best in the world at?

This isn’t what you do today, or what you’re pretty good at, and what you have the genuine potential to be exceptional at.

Collins is deliberate about the standard here: not best in your industry, not better than last year. Best in the world.

Most teams, if they’re honest, will find that the list of things they could truly be the best at is much shorter than the list of things they’re currently doing.

Circle 3: What drives your economic engine?

For businesses, this is about profitability. For leaders and managers, the translation is broader: what creates the most value: for your customers, your organisation, your team?

You need to ask yourself the question: Where does the real impact come from?

The Intersection

The Hedgehog Concept is not any one of these circles. It lives only where all three overlap.

And here’s the harder part: anything that sits outside that overlap deserves serious scrutiny.

Why This Matters for Leaders

You might be thinking: this sounds like a concept for CEOs and executive teams, not for day-to-day managers.

But I’d push back on that.

The Hedgehog Concept is just as powerful, maybe more so, at the team level. In my decades of experience leading teams, I’ve seen the fox-like behaviour that Collins describes show up just as clearly in my and other teams in the organization.

Think about the last time your team’s roadmap got reviewed. How many items were added, and more importantly, how many were removed?

Most teams are much better at addition than subtraction. A new opportunity comes along, and it gets added. A PM asks for something, and it gets added. And before long, the team is stretched working on an endless backlog of work items, and nobody can articulate what the team is truly great at.

The Hedgehog Concept gives you a framework to push back on that behavior to seek clarity, not out of stubbornness. It helps you have the honest conversation that most leaders avoid:

There’s also another subtle benefit, and I’ve seen this play out in my teams many times. When your team knows their “hedgehog” (i.e, their one clear area of excellence), it builds their identity.

They know what they stand for, what kinds of work to lean into, and what to push back on.

That clarity is a key attribute of a high-performing team.

Putting the Hedgehog Concept Into Practice

For the rest of this article, we will focus our attention on putting the Hedgehog Concept into practice in your own organization.

As we do that, don’t forget to download the following resources:

• Hedgehog Concept Worksheet: Use this to work through the three-circle exercise for your team — map out what you’re genuinely passionate about, where you have the potential to be truly exceptional, and where your real impact lies. The worksheet includes step-by-step prompts to guide you through the full process, including how to facilitate this with your team.

• Hedgehog Concept Mind-map: Use this as a quick visual refresher of the framework. It’s also a useful visual to bring into team discussions when strategy conversations start getting noisy.

These resources are part of The Good Boss Practitioner resource library, available to all paid subscribers to The Good Boss.

⬇️ Already a paid member? Download these from your 📚 Resource Library.

The One Question That Changes Everything

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Most managers are trained to believe that leadership is complex. We talk about frameworks, models, systems, and strategic thinking.

And while all of that has its place, the reality is this:

Some of the highest-impact management moves are almost embarrassingly simple.

So simple, in fact, that most managers overlook them, not because they’re ineffective, but because they feel too basic to matter.

But here’s the paradox: The managers who consistently outperform others aren’t always the smartest or the most experienced, but the ones who do the obvious things consistently, and well.

Here are five such behaviors worth replicating.

1. Asking “What Do You Think?” (Then Actually Waiting)

Most managers feel the pressure to have answers.

So when someone brings up a problem, the instinct is to solve it, direct it, or fix it.

But try this instead: ask them: “What do you think?”

And then, just wait. Don’t jump in after two seconds of silence, or lead the answer, nudge them in any way.

Just wait.

At first, it might feel inefficient, or even uncomfortable. But something powerful happens when you do this consistently.

• People start thinking harder.

• They start owning decisions.

• They stop looking up for answers, and start looking within.

Simple question. Massive shift.

2. Ending Every Meeting with “Who Owns What?”

We’ve all been in those meetings.

The discussion is great, lots of ideas are generated, everyone nods, and feels productive. But then… nothing happens because no one is quite sure who is doing what next.

This is where one simple habit changes everything: Before ending any meeting, ask: “Who owns what?”

It sounds almost too obvious to matter, but I can tell you that this will kill the ambiguity that will otherwise lurk around in your team.

I like to use this simple structure:

• Owner – Who is responsible?

• Action – What exactly needs to be done?

• Timeline – By when?

It takes less than a minute, but it turns conversations into meaningful outcomes.

Without it, meetings create the illusion of progress. With it, they drive real meaning and momentum.

3. Repeating Back What You Heard

When you repeat back by saying something like “So what I’m hearing is…”, it can feel awkward at first.

I used to find it super awkward, too, and many managers I know skip it because it sounds unnatural.

But here’s the reality: Listening is not the same as understanding.

And in fast-moving teams, misalignment, if not addressed early, can end up being quite costly for the entire team or the business.

By simply reflecting back what you heard, you do three things:

1. You confirm alignment

2. You give the other person a chance to correct or clarify

3. You signal that you’re genuinely listening

And that last one matters a lot, especially for leaders.

In my experience, I’ve seen this habit surface hidden assumptions. You’ll be surprised how often someone responds with: “Actually, that’s not quite what I meant…”

It’s a small pause, but it prevents big problems.

4. Admitting “I Don’t Know”

Many managers avoid saying this because it feels risky. They feel it undermines their authority or confidence.

So instead, they hedge, or worse, they “pretend to know”.

But when you say “I don’t know,” you actually build trust, not lose it, because people are smart and good at detecting when something doesn’t feel authentic.

In contrast, leaders who acknowledge what they don’t know signal that it’s safe to speak up, question, and explore.

They provide space for others to share their own ideas, or to fill the gaps.

When a leader says, “I don’t know,” it gives everyone else permission to be real.

5. Following Up on Small Things

I used to be really bad at this early in my career. I wouldn’t pay attention to the small things, until I realized how much they mattered.

Then I started paying closer attention, and asking questions like:

• “Hey, how did that presentation go?”

• “Did you manage to resolve that issue?”

• “Were you able to get in touch with Robert?”

Individually, these moments don’t feel like much, but over time, they compound, and what they’re really signaling is: “I notice. I remember. I care.”

And that builds helps you to build lasting trust with your team.

And yet, I see so many managers who want to focus only on big updates, big milestones, big problems, and they miss the small moments.

They miss the small moments.

The Pattern Behind All of This

None of these moves or habits are complicated. They don’t need more time or authority.

But most managers don’td o them because they don’t feel powerful. They feel small, obvious, and worth skipping.

But when you look closely, they all drive the same three outcomes:

• Clarity – People know what’s expected

• Ownership – People feel responsible for outcomes

• Trust – People feel heard and supported

And those three things are the foundation of every high-performing team.

Building the Habits

So, how do you build those habits? How do you pay attention to the small moments to drive clarity, ownership and trust with your team?

That’s exactly why I built The Ultimate Leadership Toolkit.

It’s a simple, practical system designed to help you learn these habits, so you’re not just “reading” about leadership, but actively practicing it.

If this article resonated with you, this is the next step: Explore the full system and start using it today.

👋 Let’s connect: LinkedIn · Substack

• When Confidence Lies

• The Dunning–Kruger Effect

• The Confidence vs Competence Curve

• Using the Dunning–Kruger Effect in Your Team

• A Simple Rule That Will Change How You Lead

• Common Pitfalls (and How to Avoid Them)

• Final Thoughts

When Confidence Lies

A few years ago, I remember almost promoting the wrong person on my team.

Nila, a software engineer, was confident, decisive, and seemed like a natural leader. She was always ready with an answer, a convincing one, too.

But there was just one problem: She wasn’t very good at her core job, which was to write code. She was slow to design and implement features, and the quality of her work wasn’t the best either.

At the same time, one of my strongest software engineers - Sam - who was a coding superstar, was sitting quietly in the same team. Sam was thoughtful and skilled, but less confident than Nila. He would often second-guess himself.

During the annual calibration cycle, I was about to reward the wrong signal… confidence - until I (thankfully) realized the harsh truth in leadership:

Confidence is easy to see. Competence is not.

The Dunning–Kruger Effect

What I experienced in that moment wasn’t random.

There’s a pattern behind it. And once you see it, you’ll start noticing it everywhere in your team.

It’s called the Dunning–Kruger effect.

This idea came from research by psychologists David Dunning and Justin Kruger. They found something simple, but uncomfortable.

• People with low ability tend to overestimate themselves.

• People with high ability tend to underestimate themselves.

And this isn’t because of ego, but awareness.

• If you don’t know what “good” looks like, you assume you’re already there.

• If you do know what “great” looks like, you see how far you still are.

This creates a gap - the gap between confidence and competence.

The Confidence vs Competence Curve

You can think of this as a curve.

At the start, you don’t know what you don’t know, so your confidence rises fast. You learn a little, and it feels like a lot. You reach the peak of ignorance, with very high confidence but low competence.

Then, as you keep learning, reality hits, and your confidence starts to drop. Doubt starts to creep in, and your progress also slows. At the lowest level of confidence, you enter the valley of despair.

After that, something interesting happens. The “real” learning begins, and your confidence slowly starts to build again. This time, it’s grounded in knowledge, and you ascend the slope of enlightenment. Eventually, as you continue to build competence, you reach the expert level.

Interestingly, the expert-level confidence is typically lower than the level at the initial peak, and this gap is called the Confidence Gap.

In your team today, you like have people at all points on this curve.

But here’s the catch: confidence is loud at the start, and quiet in the middle, and that’s what tricks most managers.

Using the Dunning–Kruger Effect in Your Team

Understanding this bias is useful, but the real question is: how do you actually use this in your team?

For the rest of this article, we will focus our attention on putting the Dunning-Kruger Effect into practice in your own organization.

As we do that, don’t forget to download the following resources:

• Dunning-Kruger Worksheet: Use this to map your team members, and identify the patterns between confidence and competence. You will then start making better decisions about their performance and impact in your organization. The worksheet includes step-by-step prompts to guide you through the entire application process.

• Dunning-Kruger Mind-map: Use this as a quick visual refresher about the framework. You can also use it as a visual guide to help you when you need to practice the framework in your own situations.

These resources are part of The Good Boss Practitioner resource library, available to all paid subscribers to The Good Boss.

⬇️ Already a member? Download these from your Resource Library.

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I did something different.

I studied painters.

Not casually, but by looking closely at how they think, how they work, and how they create.

And what I found surprised me: Some of the most powerful leadership lessons aren’t found in boardrooms… they’re hidden in art studios.

And once you see them, you can’t “unsee” them.

Here are six leadership lessons I learned, and how you can apply them in your own role.

#1.  Vision

Both leaders and painters need a clear vision.

Most of what is accomplished — whether in business or in art — starts off as an idea and a vision in someone’s mind.

Painters envision the final outcome, and impact of their artwork.

• Claude Monet, a French painter and founder of impressionism painting, had the vision of capturing light on canvas in a new way. He looked to represent the same scene at different times of day, showing how light changes our perception of what we see. His vision led to the Impressionist movement.

• Another famous painter — Vincent van Gogh, the Dutch Post-Impressionist painter ,  had a vision to express emotion and inner turmoil through vibrant colors and bold brushstrokes. He saw art differently. Instead of representing a reality, for him it was a means of conveying spiritual truths. His vision influenced the development of modern art as we see it today.

Leaders envision the future direction of their organization.

• Steve Jobs (the founder of Apple) envisioned a world of user-friendly technology for everyone. His idea went beyond just the computers and devices that existed at the time. His vision led to revolutionary products that we all use today ,  such as the iPhone and the iPad, which also reshaped the entire industry.

• Mahatma Gandhi (the leader of India’s independence movement) envisioned a future where India was an independent nation. He imagined a nation free from British rule, and achieved it through non-violent resistance rather than traditional violent measures. His vision and leadership ultimately inspired a mass movement of the people, leading to India’s independence.

👉🏼 Without the vision, there is no passion or desire to achieve the goal, whether in the form of an artwork or a business.

#2. Creativity

Creativity is the use of imagination or a different perspective to create something.

Painters use creativity to express ideas and emotions through their art.

• Salvador Dalí was a Spanish artist who changed the perspective of art lovers through his surreal and distorted forms. His famous “The Persistence of Memory” work, with its melting clocks, has become an iconic symbol of surrealism today.

• M.C. Escher, the Dutch graphic artist, combined art with mathematics and architecture. His famous works include the impossible structures, and challenge our understanding of space and dimension. I remember growing up fascinated with the ‘impossible staircase’, initially convinced that it was possible :)

Similar to painters, leaders use creative thinking to solve problems and innovate in their field of business.

• Richard Branson (founder of Virgin Group) is famous for following an unconventional approach to business. He brought in the fresh perspective of “customer-centricity” and led Virgin to disrupt industries from airlines to telecommunications.

• Herb Kelleher (former CEO of Southwest Airlines) brought a unique perspective on air travel, and prioritized short-haul flights with quick turnarounds. This led him to create the first successful low-cost carrier in the US. This unconventional approach challenged the industry norms, and prompted others to follow suit.

👉🏼 Leaders and painters share the knack for creativity, and trying new approaches that challenge conventional ways of doing business, or creating art.

#3. Attention to Detail

Both leaders and painters must pay close attention to detail.

Painters tend to focus on the finer elements of their work to ensure it aligns with their vision.

• Leonardo da Vinci, the Italian polymath and painter, blended his knowledge of art and science into intricate works of art. His anatomical drawings are world famous for their careful dissections and measurements, and it is evident how careful Da Vinci was with the finer details.

• Georges Seurat, the French post-Impressionist artist, developed new techniques (called pointillism) using conté crayon for drawings on paper with a rough surface. He created images using tiny dots of color, each carefully placed to form the desired optical effect, undoubtedly requiring extreme precision and attention to detail.

Similar to painters, leaders must be visionaries, and strategic, but they must not lose sight of the details of the project they are running.

• Elon Musk, founder of Tesla, SpaceX, and many others, is known to “sleep on the factory floor during production crises, and personally inspect vehicles”. This hands-on approach demonstrates his attention to detail, and not willing to lose sight of how things are getting done and what support he can provide his team.

• Warren Buffett, founder of Berkshire Hathaway and one of the richest investors in history, is known for his painstaking analysis of financial statements and business fundamentals. He is known for making investment decisions after thorough research and a detailed analysis, and attributes much of his financial success to this approach.

👉🏼 Both leaders and painters need to pay attention to detail. As they say, the devil is in the details.

#4. Risk Taking

Risks are part of life.

Leaders and painters alike must venture into uncharted territory, and try different approaches, and as they do so, they are taking risks.

When painters try unconventional approaches to creating artwork, they are taking a risk. The risk of being disliked, or worse,  ridiculed.

• Jackson Pollock, the American ‘drip’ painter, took a significant risk when he developed his drip painting technique. He challenged traditional approaches to painting by placing the canvas on the floor and splashed paint on it. The risk he took paid off, and so was born Abstract Expressionism. This also influenced modern art as we know it today.

• Henri Matisse, a French visual artist, shocked the world with his use of bold, vibrant colors in his artwork. His “Woman with a Hat” masterpiece used color in unconventional ways, and was a significant risk to take at the time. His risk-taking approach influenced modern art, and particularly inspired other artists to use vibrant colors in their artwork.

Similar to painters, leaders need to take risks, as opportunities are often disguised as risks. With the speed of innovation today, if you’re not taking risks, you are stagnating and will soon cease to exist.

• Reed Hastings, the co-founder of Netflix, took a significant risk by shifting Netflix’s business model from DVD rentals to streaming. He did so with the anticipation that streaming is the way forward, but there was no guarantee. Clearly, the risk he took paid off, and Netflix grew into a home-entertainment powerhouse as we see it today.

• Howard Schultz, former CEO of Starbucks, took a risk when he expanded Starbucks beyond its core coffee business into other areas such as music, food, and lifestyle products. While not all of those succeeded, they provided the necessary insights to Starbucks, and encouraged them to continue to evolve.

👉🏼 Both leaders and artists need to take risks, whether to stay relevant, or to try new approaches.

#5. Patience

Patience is crucial for success in both roles  -  leaders and painters.

Painters must be patient with the artistic process, taking the time needed to plan and perfect their work.

• Michelangelo, the Italian sculptor and painter, spent four years painting over 5,000 square feet of frescoes at the Sistine Chapel ceiling (often in uncomfortable positions). Needless to say, this required extreme patience, persistence, and hard work, resulting in one of the most celebrated pieces of Western art today.

• Claude Monet, the French painter we discussed earlier in this article, famously made the “Water Lilies” series over a period of 30 years (yes, you heard that right!). He painted the same subject repeatedly, capturing subtle changes in light and atmosphere. This patience and diligence led to the creation of one of the most iconic pieces in Impressionism.

Similar to painters, leaders often face long-term projects, and difficult challenges, and must be patient with the process and their team’s development.

• Jeff Bezos, founder of Amazon, started Amazon.com as a humble online bookstore in 1994. In the next two decades, Bezos slowly and steadily expanded the company to become a full-fledged online store. If it were not for Bezos’s patience, Amazon may not have been the “biggest online store on earth” today.

• James Dyson, founder of Dyson, famously created 5,126 failed prototypes of vacuum cleaners over 15 years before finally succeeding. Vacuum cleaning technology is widespread today, and the industry is booming, thanks to Dyson’s patience and willingness to learn from all those failed tests, and continue to improve his approach.

👉🏼 Both painters and leaders need to have patience and perseverance to face failures, and learn and grow from them.

#6. Adaptability

The world is a constantly changing place.

Painters often need to adapt their techniques and ideas as their work progresses, and as trends change.

• Pablo Picasso, the famous Italian sculptor and artist, moved through several distinct periods during his life as an artist. He continuously reinvented and adapted his approach ,  from realistic works, to revolutionary Cubism, and beyond, demonstrating the importance of adaptability and change.

• J.M.W. Turner, the English Romantic painter, is famously known for adapting his style through the course of his artistic career,  from detailed topographical works to more abstract renderings. This is a great example of how artists adapt their style to changing needs and trends.

Similar to painters, leaders need to adapt their strategies based on changing market conditions and customer behaviors.

• Satya Nadella, CEO of Microsoft, pivoted the company towards cloud computing and subscription-based services. He embraced open-source technologies that the company had previously opposed. Nadella’s adaptable approach led to Microsoft reinventing itself, and emerging as a leader in the tech industry today.

• Lou Gerstner, former CEO of IBM, took over the company in 1993 when it was approaching bankruptcy. He anticipated the change in technology trends and innovation, and pivoted the company’s business model from hardware, to software and services. This dramatic change saved the company from bankruptcy, and IBM re-emerged as a leader in IT consulting and services.

👉🏼 Adaptability is one of the core attributes of leaders and painters alike. With changing times, both need to adapt and evolve to stay relevant, and to continue to innovate.

In Summary: Leadership Lessons from the World of Art

In this article, we drew several parallels between a painter and a leader, and (hopefully) picked up some inspiration in our roles as leaders.

• Vision: Painters envision the final outcome of their artwork, while leaders envision the future of their organization.

• Creativity: Painters use creativity to express ideas and emotions, while leaders use creativity to solve challenging problems.

• Attention to Detail: Painters pay attention to the finer details of their work to align with their vision, while leaders pay attention to the workings of their organization to provide the support their team needs.

• Risk Taking: Painters take risks by trying unconventional approaches to art, while leaders take risks to stay competitive in the industry.

• Patience: Painters take the time to perfect their work, while leaders exercise patience to lead their organizations through big changes.

• Adaptability: Painters adapt their techniques to respond to changing trends, while leaders continue to adapt and innovate to stay relevant.

From Canvas to Practice

Thinking like a painter sounds inspiring, but leadership isn’t built on inspiration alone. It’s built through practice.

The real challenge is this: How do you actually build vision, creativity, and patience into your day-to-day leadership?

That’s exactly why I built The Ultimate Leadership Toolkit.

It’s not more theory. It’s a practical system designed to help you apply these principles, so you’re not just “reading” about leadership, but actively practicing it.

If this article resonated with you, this is the next step: Explore the full system and start using it today.

👋 Let’s connect: LinkedIn · Substack

• The Hidden Cost of ‘Simple’ Work

• What Conway’s Law Really Means

• How Your Org Design Shapes Culture and Impact

• Putting Conway’s Law Into Practice

• The One Shift: Design Teams Like You Design Systems

• How This Plays Out in Real Teams

• Common Pitfalls (and How to Avoid Them)

• Final Thoughts

The Hidden Cost of ‘Simple’ Work

At one point early in my career as an engineering manager, I had a ‘frontend team’, a ‘backend services team’, and a ‘desktop team’. In the org chart, it looks nice and cleanly organized.

But every change in our product needed coordination across all three teams. One team would finish their part and “wait” for the next team to “deliver” their work. Several meetings, multiple wikis, and dozens of Jira tickets later, the feature would finally get tested and delivered.

Over time, I realized the problem wasn’t the people, or the effort, or even the process. The real problem was the way I had structured my teams. The simple feature was taking weeks to ship, not because it was hard, but because it was touching three teams. Small changes turned into a chain of dependencies simply because of the way the teams were organized.

At the time, I used to think system design was about architecture diagrams, APIs, and technology choices, but the way I had structured my teams was shaping the system far more than any technical decision we made.

This phenomenon is popularly known as Conway’s Law.

I’ve seen this show up in almost all organizations I’ve worked at, and, should I say, it is one of the elephants in the room that nobody wants to talk about. As the illustration above (somewhat hilariously) demonstrates, every company has its own structure, and that, in turn, influences how and what they deliver.

In this issue, I will discuss Conway’s Law from a practical standpoint - why organizational design matters, and how you can proactively set up your teams for speed, ownership, and clear execution without “shipping your org chart.”

Ready to dive in? let’s go!

What Conway’s Law Really Means

Coined by Melvin Conway in 1967, Conway’s Law says that organizations design systems that mirror their communication structure.

In plain terms, your system will look like your org chart. If your teams are split into frontend, backend, and platform, your system will likely follow the same boundaries. If your teams don’t talk well, your systems won’t integrate well either.

But what do we mean by systems here? Systems could be the product that you’re shipping, or the services that you’re making available to your customers. I like to think of it as anything that is externally visible to customers, not just products or services, but even things like customer support.

Let’s go back to my own example from earlier.

Since I had three teams set up (backend, frontend, and desktop) to deliver a feature, the system we built reflected that. It was split across layers, with dependencies between them. Every handoff between teams became a dependency in the system.

And unsurprisingly, over time, these dependencies would pile up. What would start as a clean design turns into something slow and hard to change.

Another way to think about Conway’s Law is this: You don’t design systems directly. You design the organization, and the system follows. Every team boundary becomes a system boundary, and every communication gap becomes a point of friction.

So the real question that matters is: “How do we design the teams?” not “How do we design the system?”

How Your Org Design Shapes Culture and Impact

Conway’s Law doesn’t just shape your system. In many ways, it shapes the limits of your culture and the impact of your organization.

Your org structure defines the communication boundaries, the decision-making process, who talks to whom, etc., and these in turn shape the cultural norms. Also, the boundaries can either help teams move quickly, or slow them down, and ultimately shape the impact your org is making towards the business goals.

Let’s look at a few cases where it shows up in unexpected ways.

Layered Structures

The most obvious way is what we’ve already seen - layered structures.

If your teams are split by layers, your system will be split by layers. A simple feature will need multiple teams, multiple handoffs, and multiple cycles of coordination. What should be fast becomes slow.

Workload Imbalance

Another, less obvious impact is workload imbalance.

Imagine two teams, each owning a different capability. On paper, it looks clean. Clear ownership, clear boundaries. But in reality, the work is not “equal”. One team has more demand, tighter timelines, and more dependencies. The other has less work and more breathing room. Over time, one team feels constant pressure, while the other cruises.

In this case, nothing is wrong with the people or the teams themselves. It is the structure that created the imbalance.

Roadmap “Long-poles”

I’ve also seen this in how priorities play out. If a critical initiative depends heavily on one team, that team becomes the bottleneck. Every roadmap discussion starts to revolve around their capacity.

Other teams may be ready to move, but they are forced to wait. So your roadmap is no longer driven by business priorities, but by team structure.

Platform Services

And then there’s the classic platform services problem.

A central team owns ‘shared services’, and every other team depends on them. Initially, this feels efficient, but as the organization grows, that team becomes the ‘gate’. Over time, they see requests piling up, and other teams waiting in queues. Again, the platform team isn’t ‘slow’, but the structure made them the bottleneck.

Matrix vs Functional Structures

Most companies are organized around either matrix or functional structures.

In matrix structures, people report to one team, but work for another, and coordinate priorities and execution horizontally. In functional structures, the entire org or team owns the end-to-end capabilities, and the boundaries are more rigid.

Each structure has its own tradeoffs, but most companies just let their organizations evolve without having any intention or reason for why they’re organized the way they are.

This creates confusion and a lack of direction. Again, this is not a people problem, but a structure problem.

Now, if you step back, you’ll notice a pattern:

• Team boundaries influence system boundaries.

• Ownership boundaries influence accountability.

• Structure defines how fast, how clearly, and how effectively work gets done.

So, how should you design your organization? Let’s look at that next.

Putting Conway’s Law Into Practice

For the rest of this article, we will focus our attention on putting Conway’s Law into practice in your own organization.

As we do that, don’t forget to download the following resources:

• Conway’s Law Worksheet: Use this to diagnose your current organizational structure, what your business or team priorities are, and where the gaps lie. The worksheet includes step-by-step prompts to guide you through the entire application process.

• Conway’s Law Mind-map: Use this as a quick visual refresher about the framework. You can also use it as a visual guide to help you when you need to practice the framework in your own situations.

These resources are part of The Good Boss Practitioner resource library, available to all paid subscribers to The Good Boss.

⬇️ Already a member? Download these from your Resource Library.

💬 Have questions about applying this? Drop a comment in the Practitioner Community and let’s discuss how to tailor this to your specific situation.

👉🏼 Not a paid member? Upgrade now and get instant access to these resources, plus the complete practitioner resource library with 100+ worksheets, mind-maps, posters, and framework deep-dives to handle dozens of situations you face at work every day.

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It was a Monday morning, and my calendar was already packed.

A team member had sent me a message at midnight about an urgent issue. My manager had scheduled a last-minute escalation meeting. On top of that, I had an overdue performance review for one of my engineers.

Sound familiar?

Many leaders are constantly running from task to task. They are reacting to their Inbox, with no clue how their days go by.

Effective leaders work differently. They follow daily rituals and take small, deliberate actions repeated over time.

Let’s look at five such rituals that you should practice every day to stay grounded, inspire your teams, and achieve your goals.

1. Start with Clarity

Every morning, ask yourself two questions:

• What is the single most important thing I must achieve today?

• Who needs my guidance or support?

Effective leaders prioritize ruthlessly. By identifying the day’s critical tasks, you avoid the trap of reacting to everything. After all, you only have so much time.

I love to apply the Pareto Principle to bubble up the top 20% of priorities on my queue.

Amazon founder Jeff Bezos often talks about making fewer but higher-quality decisions. This philosophy aligns with the idea of reserving your energy for decisions that truly matter, instead of getting bogged down by things that don’t matter.

2. Connect with Your Team

Make it a daily ritual to connect with at least one team member, whether it’s a quick chat or a one-on-one meeting. Ask open-ended questions like:

• “What’s one thing we could do better as a team?”

• “How can I support you today?”

This practice fosters trust and shows you care beyond deadlines. In order to lead effectively, you need to first understand your team: what they are passionate about, what obstacles they are facing, and how you can offer support.

You can use Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs framework to better understand the needs and motivations of your team.

3. Focus on Learning

Spend at least 15 minutes daily improving your knowledge. It could be reading an article, listening to a podcast, or learning from your peers.

I like to organize my learning into two buckets:

1. Continue to build deeper expertise in the domain that I am working on. In my case, that is software engineering and architecture. I like to read articles and books and listen to podcasts related to cloud computing, software architecture, and the latest emerging trends in data, ML, and AI.

2. Continue to refine my business and leadership muscle so I can lead and drive business results. I read about the latest business trends, and understand how customer behavior is changing.

Looking for book suggestions? Check out my collection of the best leadership books of all time:

4. Celebrate Small Wins

Every day, recognize at least one achievement, yours or your team’s.

Celebrating small wins builds momentum and motivates your team. Success isn’t just about reaching the final destination - it’s about acknowledging the progress made along the way.

It doesn’t have to be formal. A simple “Great job on that presentation!” or a quick message in a team chat can go a long way in making someone feel valued.

When I first started as a manager, I underestimated the power of these small acknowledgments. I assumed that people only cared about big promotions or raises. But during a feedback session, a team member told me that an offhand “Thanks for stepping up!” during a meeting had made their week. That moment taught me that recognition can be simple, yet powerful.

5. Practice Reflection

End your day with 10 minutes of deliberate reflection - a small but powerful ritual that separates effective leaders from the rest.

Start by asking yourself two simple but profound questions:

• What went well today?

• What could I improve tomorrow?

These questions serve as a foundation for self-awareness. Reflecting on what went well helps you acknowledge victories, no matter how small. It could be a meeting you led effectively, a constructive conversation with a team member, or an important milestone in a project. Recognizing these moments boosts your confidence and reinforces positive behaviors.

On the other hand, identifying what could be improved tomorrow sharpens your problem-solving mindset. Maybe a conversation didn’t go as planned, or you didn’t allocate your time as effectively as possible. Pinpointing these areas allows you to set intentional goals for the next day, keeping you in a cycle of continuous improvement.

Time To Practice The Rituals

Becoming a highly effective leader isn’t about overhauling your life overnight. It’s about small, consistent habits that compound over time.

But how do you develop those habits? That’s exactly why I built The Ultimate Leadership Toolkit. This is the complete leadership operating system that will help you to practice the habits, not just ‘read’ about them.

You can explore the full system here and start using it today. Instant download, lifetime access.

💬 Okay, now your turn: Which of these rituals resonates with you the most? Drop your comment below - I’d love to hear your thoughts!

Leave a comment

👋 Let’s connect: LinkedIn · Substack · X

• Why You Don’t Always Act the Way You Intend To

• 🧠 The Three Brains Framework

• How It Actually Works (The Hidden Problem)

• Applying The Three Brains Framework in Leadership

• The Pause–Align–Choose Method

• Real-life Leadership Scenarios

• The Three Brains Framework: Practitioner Resources

• Common Pitfalls

• Final Thoughts

Why You Don’t Always Act the Way You Intend To

I remember a moment in a meeting a few years ago. A team member pushed back on a decision I had made. It wasn’t what he said, it was how he said it. Something about the tone didn’t sit right with me. Honestly, I felt offended inside.

I reacted almost instantly - I cut him off, defended my position, and moved the discussion forward. While the meeting continued, I could sense that the energy in the room had shifted - everyone went quiet, and there were no more questions or pushbacks.

At the time, it felt like I had handled it, but later that day, I kept replaying the moment in my head. The more I thought about it, the more uncomfortable it felt. I knew that he wasn’t wrong, and he had a valid point. I also knew deep in my heart that I hadn’t responded to the idea, I had reacted to how it made me feel.

And that’s when it hit me.

In that moment, I wasn’t leading - I was reacting.

If I’m honest, you’ve probably had moments like this too. It may have been a comment in a meeting, a missed deadline, or a message that felt slightly off. And before you know it, you’ve reacted in a way you didn’t intend. Or you overthink, delay your response, and say nothing at all. And later, you ask yourself, “Why did I do that?”

That’s the part most people don’t talk about. In this issue, I’ll unpack the Three Brains Framework, which explains what’s really happening in your mind when you react, overthink, or freeze.

Ready? Let’s dive in!

🧠 The Three Brains Framework

If I were to tell you that you have not one, not two, but three brains, you’d probably think I’m joking, right?

Well, I’m not. Let me explain.

At any moment, one of three systems in your brain is driving how you think, feel, and act. In fact, most of the time, you’re not even aware of which one is in control.

Let’s look at each system.

⚡ The Reactive Brain (Survival Mode)

This is your fastest system, and it’s built to protect you.

It scans for threats - both physical and social. A threat could look like a challenge in a meeting, a missed deadline, or even a tone that feels off (remember the story I shared at the beginning?) It treats all of these as signals that something is ‘wrong’.

When this brain takes over, you don’t pause. You react.

In a leadership setting, the ‘reaction’ shows up quickly.

• You interrupt someone mid-sentence.

• You shut down ideas that feel risky.

• You push back harder than needed.

• Sometimes you go silent, not because you’re thinking, but because you’ve disengaged.

It feels decisive in the moment, but what it’s really doing is protecting you, not helping you lead.

❤️ The Emotional Brain (Social Mode)

This is your ‘relationship’ system.

This system reads people. It’s great at picking up tone, body language, and intent. It’s also where trust, fear, and belonging live. And importantly, this brain is critical for leadership, because leadership is human.

But there’s a catch: this brain also has a bias.

It doesn’t just read situations, it interprets them. In your world as a leader, this shows up in subtle ways:

• You start favoring people you feel comfortable with.

• You avoid giving tough feedback because it feels uncomfortable.

• You take things personally, even when they’re not meant that way.

• You might delay a decision because it “doesn’t feel right,” even when the logic is clear.

This brain helps you connect with people, which is necessary, but when it dominates your thinking, it can cloud your judgment.

🧠 The Thinking Brain (Rational Mode)

This is your rational brain.

It looks at data, weighs trade-offs, and focuses on outcomes, not reactions or feelings. It helps you to make rational, data-driven leadership decisions.

When this brain is in charge:

• You ask better questions.

• You listen fully before responding.

• You separate the idea from the person.

• You focus on what needs to be done, not how the moment feels.

In practice, this is when you handle a tough conversation calmly. You make a decision that’s right for the team, even if it’s uncomfortable.

How It Actually Works (The Hidden Problem)

Now, in reality, you don’t switch between these three brains consciously. They switch for you.

And the problem is: in most situations, they don’t collaborate. They compete with each other, and the one that takes “wins” isn’t always the one you want.

• Your reactive brain is built for speed. It doesn’t wait for the context, and it doesn’t check for accuracy. It sees a threat and acts. That’s how it’s wired from the times when we (humans) were hunter-gatherers, and it was useful then when we were in ‘real’ danger facing hunger or a threat in the wild. But it’s less useful when someone disagrees with you in a meeting.

• Your emotional brain is slightly slower, but still quick to interpret. It fills in the gaps, assigns meaning and interpretations. It decides how something feels before you’ve fully understood what’s actually happening.

• Your thinking brain is slower, and is built for rational judgment. It needs time and space to weigh the options, and consider the outcomes. But by the time it fully engages, the other two have often already acted.

And that is the “hidden problem”.

When you are in high-pressure moments, because of the way it’s wired, the control shifts away from your thinking brain to the other two.

This is why the same patterns show up again and again.

• You react before you think.

• You take things personally.

• You overanalyze simple decisions.

• You avoid conversations you know you should have.

Applying The Three Brains Framework in Leadership

You can’t learn leadership by reading alone. The real test happens in high-pressure moments, when you’re triggered, and what matters is whether you have a system to respond, not just react.

In the rest of this article, we will focus on applying this framework in practice in your own leadership situation.

📍Coming up:

• The Pause-Align-Choose Method: The specific method to move from reaction to action, while still engaging your three brains.

• Real-World Scenarios: How to apply this method in real-world leadership situations that you will face in your own role.

• The Three Brains Worksheet and Mind-map: Make it real with step-by-step prompts, and a visual map, to help you apply this framework in your situation.

  

🚀 Unlock the rest of this article, along with the worksheet and mind-map, plus the full Practitioner Resource Library (100+ resources) by becoming a paid subscriber (aka Practitioner). You’ll get instant access to The Leader’s Playbook, the complete collection of worksheets and mind maps, and our exclusive practitioner community.

🔑 Already a paid member (Practitioner)? Access these directly from your Resource Library.

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If you lead a team today, chances are you’ve asked yourself at least one of these questions:

• Why isn’t my team speaking up?

• Why does everything still depend on me?

• Am I actually a good leader… or just a busy one?

I’ve asked all of them, and the answers weren’t always flattering.

Here are 12 wake-up calls that will help answer those questions, and might just change how you lead.

Let me warn you, though: some of these will sting, as they should.

Ready? Let’s dive in.

1. If Your Team Is Failing, Look in the Mirror. You’re the Problem.

As a leader, it’s easy to point fingers when things go wrong, but the first place you should look is in the mirror.

If your team is underperforming, missing deadlines, or failing to meet goals, it’s a reflection of your leadership. Your role is to guide, support, and enable your team to succeed. If they’re not able to deliver, ask yourself:

• Have you set clear expectations?

• Are you providing the necessary resources and support?

• Have you created a culture of accountability and trust?

• Are you actively listening to your team’s concerns and ideas?

💡Leadership scales through ownership. The moment you start externalizing problems, you lose your ability to fix them. The best leaders don’t ask “who messed up?” They ask, “Where did I fall short?”

Framework to try out:

2. If You Can’t Handle Criticism, You’re Not Fit to Lead

Leadership isn’t about having all the answers or being immune to mistakes. It’s about continuous growth, and that means being open to criticism.

If you can’t handle feedback,  especially the negative kind,  you’re not ready to lead. Criticism, when taken constructively, helps you grow.

Your growth as a leader is directly tied to how much truth you can absorb without reacting. If your team members start filtering what they tell you, you’re no longer leading, you’re operating in a “bubble”. And bubbles don’t last long.

💡If you want to lead, you must learn to welcome and grow from the feedback you receive.

3. Your Title Makes You a Manager. Your People Make You a Leader . Don’t Confuse the Two.

Having the title of “manager” doesn’t automatically make you a leader.

Leadership is earned through the respect, trust, and confidence of your team. It’s about inspiring and guiding them, not just ‘managing’ their work.

Don’t confuse your formal authority with true leadership.

Authority gets compliance. Leadership earns commitment. If people only follow you because they have to, you haven’t really earned the right to lead them.

💡Leadership can’t be ‘given’. It can only be earned through your actions and the way you treat your people.

4. Don’t Preach Teamwork and Then Play Favorites . Hypocrisy Kills Culture.

As a leader, your words and actions must align.

Preaching the importance of teamwork while playing favorites is a sure way to destroy trust and morale within your team. Hypocrisy, especially from a leader, can quickly erode the culture you’re trying to build.

Culture isn’t built by what you say, but by what you tolerate.

💡The moment your actions contradict your words, people stop listening and start watching. And what they see defines everything.

5. Stop Micromanaging. Trust is a two-way street. If You Don’t Trust Your Team, Why Should They Trust You?

Micromanaging sends a clear message to your team: you don’t trust them to do their jobs.

This lack of trust can quickly undermine your credibility as a leader and erode the trust your team has in you. Effective leadership is about empowering your team, not controlling every detail.

💡Trust is a two-way street. When you stop micromanaging and start trusting your team, you’ll not only boost their confidence but also earn their trust and respect in return.

Framework to try out:

6. If You’re Not Developing Your Team, You’re Diminishing Them . Step Up or Step Aside.

One of the most crucial responsibilities of a leader is to develop and grow their team.

If you’re not investing in your team’s development, you’re holding them back from reaching their full potential. Leaders who fail to prioritize development are not only doing a disservice to their team but also to the organization.

A team that isn’t growing is slowly disengaging. If you don’t invest in your people, they’ll stop investing in your mission.

💡If you’re not helping your team grow, it’s time to step up your game,  or consider stepping aside for someone who will.

Framework to try out:

7. If Your Team Is Silent, That’s a ‘Loud’ Signal That You’ve Already Failed as a Leader

A team that is afraid to voice its opinions, concerns, or ideas is a clear sign of a failing leadership environment.

When team members don’t feel safe to speak up, innovation stops, problems go unresolved, and morale suffers. As a leader, it’s your responsibility to create an environment where open communication is not just encouraged but expected.

Silence is rarely a sign of alignment. It’s usually a sign of fear or apathy.

💡When you create a culture of open communication, you pave the way for innovation, problem-solving, and a more engaged team.

Framework to try out:

8. If You’re Not Accountable, You’re Not Credible . Own Your Mistakes.

Credibility as a leader hinges on your ability to take responsibility for your actions and decisions.

If you fail to own up to your mistakes, you undermine your integrity and erode your team’s trust. Accountability is not just about accepting blame , but also about demonstrating that you are committed to learning and improving.

💡By owning your mistakes and demonstrating a commitment to improvement, you build credibility and foster a culture of trust and respect within your team.

9. Don’t Just Set the Pace; Set the Standard . Excellence Is Contagious

As a leader, it’s not enough to merely maintain a brisk pace for your team.

You need to set a high standard for excellence that inspires and motivates. When you consistently demonstrate high standards in your work, you create a culture where excellence becomes the norm.

People don’t rise to expectations, they rise to examples.

• If you tolerate mediocrity, you normalize it.

• If you model excellence, you make it contagious.

💡When you set high standards and lead by example, you inspire your team to rise to those standards and exceed them.

10. Your Team Doesn’t Work for You . You Work for Them. Serve to Lead.

Leadership is fundamentally about service.

Instead of viewing your team as working for you, shift your perspective to see yourself as working for them. Your role is to support, enable, and empower your team to achieve their best. Servant leadership focuses on the well-being and growth of your team members.

💡When you genuinely work for your team, you create a more engaged, motivated, and effective workforce.

Framework to try out:

11. If Your Actions Don’t Inspire, Your Words Won’t.  Lead by Example

Leadership isn’t just about what you say but also about what you do.

If your actions don’t align with your words, you risk losing credibility and failing to inspire your team. True leadership is demonstrated through behavior, not just through speeches or directives.

People don’t remember what you said in meetings. They remember how you showed up when it mattered.

💡Inspire your team through your actions, not just your words.

12. A Leader Takes the Blame and Shares the Fame. No Exceptions.

Effective leadership means accepting responsibility for failures and sharing success with your team.

Nothing reveals your character faster than how you handle success and failure. Leaders who hoard credit and deflect blame lose their teams slowly, but permanently.

When things go wrong, a true leader steps up and takes the blame. Conversely, when success is achieved, it’s important to give credit where it’s due and celebrate the team’s contributions.

💡 Taking responsibility for failures and sharing the success with your team not only strengthens your leadership but also builds a positive and collaborative culture.

Final Thoughts

Leadership isn’t about getting everything right.

It’s about being willing to confront what you’re getting wrong.

💬 Which one hit you the hardest? The one that made you slightly uncomfortable? Drop it in the comments.

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• Why Smart Leaders Still Misread People

• Why Behaviour Is Usually a Symptom

• The 6 Human Needs, Explained Simply

• How to Start Using This With Your Team

• Real-World Leadership Scenarios

• The 6 Human Needs Worksheet & Mindmap

• Common Pitfalls and How to Avoid Them

• Final Thoughts

Why Smart Leaders Still Misread People

I find this one of the strangest parts of leadership: I can work with smart, capable, well-intentioned people, and still feel confused by their behaviour.

For example:

• One engineer on my team needs constant clarity before she acts, while another gets frustrated the moment things become too structured.

• One technical lead keeps pushing for visibility and recognition, while another seems far more energized working in the background, as long as he is working on meaningful work.

• One manager resists change and prefers stability, while another gets bored if things don’t change fast enough.

I used to observe this behavior, but misread what was underneath it. Most leaders I speak to tell me they are in the same boat.

As leaders, we tell ourselves simple stories, and often attach “labels” to individuals:

• This team member is insecure.

• That one is difficult.

• This manager is ambitious.

• That one is disengaged.

Sometimes those labels are not completely wrong, but they are usually incomplete. They describe the “surface”, not the engine underneath it.

I find that a lot of leadership gets easier when you stop reacting only to behaviour, and start asking what might be driving it.

Why Behavior Is Usually a Symptom

At work, behaviour is what we see first. In the examples I shared earlier, behavior is what is visible: resistance, defensiveness, restlessness, neediness, etc.

But behaviour is often just the visible expression of something deeper.

I remember having a team member who would push back on every change, and I thought he was just ‘negative’. But it turned out that he was protecting his need for stability. I had another, a high performer, who suddenly seemed restless, and I thought he was being ungrateful and impatient. Turned out, he was starving for growth, and needed more.

I’m not saying that every behavior should be ‘excused’. Absolutely not. All I’m saying is that we should be more careful when we interpret behavior.

The reality is, most leaders in the corporate world are trained to ‘drive outcomes’ and ‘address performance’. And that does matter, of course. But I strongly feel that you can be more effective as a leader when you also get better at reading the emotional logic underneath what people do. When you learn to do that, you will further amplify the business results, not hurt them.

One of the simplest ways I’ve found to do that is through a model popularized by Tony Robbins called the 6 Human Needs.

Let’s now look at how that works.

The 6 Human Needs, Explained Simply

The model suggests that all human beings are driven, in different degrees, by six core needs:

1. Certainty

2. Variety

3. Significance

4. Love & Connection

5. Growth

6. Contribution

1. Certainty is the need for stability, predictability, and a sense of control. At work, this often shows up as a desire for clarity, structure, process, and low ambiguity. Many team members prefer working in stable and predictable environments.

2. Variety is the need for novelty, change, challenge, and stimulation. At work, it often shows up as a hunger for fresh problems, movement, experimentation, and less routine. I’ve seen many team members crave for variety, taking on challenging assignments related to areas they haven’t worked on before.

3. Significance is the need to feel important, valued, respected, or uniquely seen. At work, this can show up as a desire for ownership, recognition, influence, or visible impact. Many, if not most, team members want to be seen, and recognized for the impact they are making.

4. Love & Connection is the need for trust, belonging, closeness, and emotional connection. At work, this often shows up as a desire for team bond, support, trust, and a sense of belonging. This keeps team members engaged and feel a sense of shared ‘care’ for their wellbeing.

5. Growth is the need to learn, improve, stretch, and become better. At work, it shows up as a hunger for challenge, development, feedback, and progress. High performing team members who are studious often seek fast growth and progress in their career.

6. Contribution is the need to help, serve, support, or make a meaningful difference. At work, this often shows up as a desire for purpose, impact, service, and the feeling that one’s work matters to others. This helps to connect the dots between what a team member does, and why that matters to the organization as a whole.

For me, the biggest realization with this model is that as humans, we are not simply reacting to the task in front of us. We are (often unconsciously) trying to protect or satisfy one of those deeper needs within us.

One more thing to keep in mind is that the needs themselves aren’t inherently ‘good’ or ‘bad’. What matters is how they are being met by the individual, or by the organizational culture itself:

• Need for certainty. One team member may meet that need by being reliable or calm, while the other may meet that same need by being rigid or resistant to change.

• Need for significance: One team member can show up as confident with a sense of ownership, while another may become defensive or performative.

• Need for connection: In some teams, this can show up as trust and belonging, while in others, it can show up as toxic positivity.

Ultimately, the context matters.

So, how do you start using this framework with your team? The good news is that you don’t need to be a psychologist or a psychoanalyst to use it.

There’s a much simpler way, which we will look at next.

How to Start Using This With Your Team

In order to apply this model in your own team, you just need to take a step back, analyze the need, and then craft your response accordingly.

I like to think of it as the three-step process:

Behaviour → Need → Response

Let’s look at each step one by one.

Read more

I’m Bobby Powers, and I run the Leader & Learner publication, where I share two posts per week for curious leaders and learners.

To me, those two topics—leading and learning—have always been intertwined. As soon as I began managing teams, I realized how little I actually knew about leadership, so I turned to books to fill in my knowledge gaps.

When I had to fire someone in my first manager role, books taught me how to be candid but kind. When I began public speaking, books taught me how to tell better stories. And when I was struggling with impostor syndrome, books showed me that many others have felt the same way (one of those books is even included below).

In the past decade, I’ve come to especially love business biographies and memoirs. Below are the five that have taught me the most (alphabetized by author’s last name). The founders and executives in these books have faced wild challenges, and I’ve incorporated their lessons into my own leadership.

These books have also taught me what to avoid as a leader. A couple of the books below are about people I mostly don’t want to emulate. Their lives have served as cautionary tales to help me avoid becoming rich but miserable.

Note: I take copious notes in all of the books I read, including writing my biggest takeaways in the back cover, so I included a picture of my back cover notes for each book.

The Ride of a Lifetime by Robert Iger

“You have to ask the questions you need to ask, admit without apology what you don’t understand, and do the work to learn what you need to learn as quickly as you can. There’s nothing less confidence-inspiring than a person faking a knowledge they don’t possess. True authority and true leadership come from knowing who you are and not pretending to be anything else.” -Bob Iger

Iger served as CEO of Disney for almost 20 years. (Actually, he just stepped down two weeks ago.) His book reads as half memoir, half leadership manual. It’s one of the most honest memoirs I’ve ever read. He even talks about co-workers whom he had difficulty working with at ABC and Disney.

It’s refreshing to read an author who is candid yet still assumes the best of intentions of his colleagues. I learned a lot from this book.

Key Takeaways

• Lead with confident humility. Almost everyone feels impostor syndrome (even Iger). The key is to ask for help with your weaknesses while also leading with confidence in your areas of strength.

• Roone Arledge, the old head of ABC Sports, taught Iger that “good enough” isn’t good enough. Details matter more than you think because “the success or failure of something so often comes down to the details.”

• If something is important to one of your direct reports, clients, or bosses, take the time to learn why it’s so important to them. That’s one of the best ways to empathize with someone and understand more about them as a person.

• When the stakes of a project are already high, make sure you don’t put additional pressure on your team. Doing so is counterproductive.

Elon Musk by Walter Isaacson

“He’s amazingly successful getting people to march across a desert. He has a level of certainty that causes him to put all of his chips on the table.” -Reid Hoffman (LinkedIn cofounder), re: Elon Musk

Soooo much to learn from Musk, both good and bad. He’s one of the most intense people I’ve ever read about, and his passion for changing the world and paying extreme attention to small details is unparalleled.

I’ve read many of Walter Isaacson’s biographies, and this is now probably my favorite—not because I think Musk is a good person (he’s horrible), but because he’s fascinating. Many things shocked me in this book, including how ruthless Musk can be. (For example, he fired or laid off about 80% of Twitter’s workforce within months of taking over the company!)

Key Takeaways

• Absolute power in a company is dangerous. Every leader needs people to keep them in check. The more rich and powerful you become, the harder you need to work to ensure you’re not surrounded by sycophants.

• Spend tons of time on “the machine that builds the machine.” Ironing out small kinks in your operations will make all of your work more efficient and profitable.

• Question every requirement. If you don’t know if a part or process is necessary, remove it and see what happens, then iterate from there. Don’t work to optimize a process that should instead be removed.

• Rich ≠ Happy. Musk is a miserable human, and you can tell by reading his tweets and watching his interviews. Don’t strive to be rich or powerful. Strive to treat others well and build something beautiful in the world.

Shoe Dog by Phil Knight

“Each new day brought fifty new problems, fifty tough decisions that needed to be made, right now, and we were always acutely aware that one rash move, one wrong decision could be the end.” -Phil Knight

Shoe Dog is a great peek into the realities of entrepreneurship and leadership. Nike co-founder Phil Knight reveals the struggles he faced when starting the iconic sports apparel company, including almost losing his business.

Reading a book like this is such a mind-trip because you know going in that Nike is a multibillion-dollar powerhouse, but every page of the memoir feels like the company will never make it.

Key Takeaways

• Even the most famous and successful founders had a rough go of it. Persevere.

• Business success is a rollercoaster of massive ups (if you’re lucky) and gut-wrenching downs. You must survive the downs to be around to make money from the ups.

• Leadership requires a thousand tradeoff decisions: Which suppliers are you willing to work with? Stay private or go public? How much should you diversify your product line?

Becoming Steve Jobs by Brent Schlender and Rick Tetzeli

“His was a truly Shakespearean tale, full of arrogance, intrigue, and pride, of perceived villains and ham-handed fools, of outrageous luck, good intentions, and unimagined consequences.” -Brent Schlender and Rick Tetzeli, re: Jobs

I’ve read multiple biographies about Steve Jobs, including the famous bestseller by Walter Isaacson. This one is my favorite because it paints Jobs in shades of gray: hard-working genius, impatient a**hole, caring human, and passionate creator.

Schlender knew Jobs personally for over 25 years, and he tells numerous stories you won’t find in any other Jobs bio.

Key Takeaways

• Even the best public speakers in the world (like Jobs) spent hundreds of hours perfecting their craft. No one is just “naturally good” at difficult things.

• Vision is one of the most underrated aspects of strong leadership. As Jobs’s wife Laurene said of him, “He imagined what reality lacked, and he set out to remedy it. His ideas were not arguments but intuitions, born of a true inner freedom. For this reason, he possessed an uncannily large sense of possibility—an epic sense of possibility.” That’s why we have products like the iPhone today.

• Anyone who’s trying to do something bold and new will be misunderstood (and sometimes thought to be crazy).

• Failure is not fatal. Jobs was even kicked out of his own company, but later became one of the most famous innovators in history.

The Everything Store by Brad Stone

“You have to start somewhere. You climb the top of the first tiny hill and from there you see the next hill.” -Jeff Bezos

Amazon is arguably the most interesting company in the world. In The Everything Store, journalist Brad Stone pulls back the curtain on the company, warts and all. He explains what makes the company successful while also sharing some surprising stories about Bezos and the company’s cutthroat culture.

You’ll learn how Bezos came to create the online retailer and what principles he instilled into Amazon to make it the behemoth it is today.

Key Takeaways

• Secure a toehold in a narrow field (like books, in Amazon’s case), then expand from there.

• The best way to dominate a field is to become absolutely obsessed with your customer. Find out what they want and build the business around them. If you relentlessly focus on the customer, profits eventually follow.

• Rigorously evaluate every prospective employee to join your company. Businesses live or die on their talent.

• Bake your core values into everything you do. For example, Amazon’s 16 leadership principles drive every decision at the company.

I loved these biographies and memoirs. If you want to learn more about managing a team, I’m sure you’ll love them too. Drop me a comment below if you have any other business biography recs I should check out next!

And if you enjoyed this guest post, I’d be honored for you to subscribe to my publication, Leader & Learner. Every Tuesday and Thursday, you’ll receive a post that will teach you about leadership, communication, and personal development.

*Note: Each book above includes an affiliate link from Bookshop.org. If you purchase one, you’ll support me and local bookstores at no extra cost to you. Win-win!

• Good work doesn’t always get recognized

• Why Leaders Need to Get Better at Advocacy

• The STAR Technique: How it works

• Applying the STAR Technique

• Real-world leadership scenarios where STAR helps

• The STAR Technique Worksheet & Mind-map

• Common pitfalls and how to avoid them

• Final Thoughts

Good work doesn’t always get recognized

A few years ago, I came out of a calibration discussion (with 20+ other managers) with a nagging feeling.

One of my team members, who I had recommended for promotion, had come up in the conversation. He was a Sr. Software Engineer, and I strongly believed that he was already performing at the next level of Principal Engineer. He wasn’t just technically strong, he also demonstrated strong technical leadership, communication, and ownership.

But as the discussion unfolded, I felt that my case wasn’t landing as strongly as it should have. Ultimately, he was dropped from the promotee list as “not yet ready”.

After the meeting, I kept replaying the meeting in my head, thinking “I didn’t do justice to his work.” I thought I could have presented more compelling examples and story to support his case.

I’ve seen this play out with other managers, too.

One of the responsibilities of a manager is not just to support their team while they do the work. It’s also to advocate for them when they’re not in the room.

And that’s where many good leaders fall short.

Even though they genuinely care about their team members, they reply on “vague praise” when the moment actually needs structured evidence.

That’s when I started appreciating the value of a simple framework that most people only associate with interviews: The STAR Technique.

In this article, we will discuss how you can use this simple technique to advocate for yourself and your team with clarity, credibility and confidence.

Why Leaders Need to Get Better at Advocacy

Contrary to popular assumption, I believe that one of the most important parts of leadership happens when your team members are not in the room.

That’s when you’re often asked to make a judgment call.

• Is this person ready for more?

• Did this project really create impact?

• Should this person get the opportunity, the visibility, or the promotion?

And in those moments, good intentions are not enough.

You may know that your team member is strong, that he stepped up, and made a difference. But if you can’t explain that clearly and convincingly, it will likely not make an impact on the others in the room.

Here’s the uncomfortable truth:

A lot of strong work gets undervalued not because it lacked substance, but because it lacked advocacy.

And this doesn’t just apply to your team. It applies to you, too.

There will be moments when you need to make the case for your own readiness, your own impact, or your own growth. Maybe it’s a bigger role, or a more challenging assignment, or even a seat at a more strategic table.

In all of these moments, whether for your team or yourself, the challenge is the same:

You need to translate ‘great work done’ into an ‘impactful story’ that people can understand, trust, and remember.

That’s where the STAR Technique becomes useful.

The STAR Technique: How it works

The STAR Technique is a simple framework for turning experience into a clear, compelling story. It gives structure to your examples so that other people can quickly understand what happened, what was at stake, what was done, and why it mattered.

It has four elements or parts:

Situation

Start by setting the stage. What was happening, and why did it matter? Keep this to the point, with just enough context for the listener to understand the environment you or your team member were operating in.

Task

Next, make the challenge clear. What needed to be done? What problem were you trying to solve, or what responsibility were you stepping into? This is where you define the stakes.

Action

Then, get specific about what was actually done. What steps did you or your team take? This is where many leaders stay too high level. Be clear about the actions that made the difference, especially your or your team member’s role in it.

Result

Finally, highlight the outcome. What changed because of those actions? What improved, got delivered, or moved forward? Include numbers, anecdotes, or any other evidence to back this up. This is the part people remember.

As you can tell from the flow above, STAR helps you move from opinion to evidence. And that’s what makes it so powerful when you need to advocate for yourself or your people. People can challenge your opinions, but it’s way harder to challenge hardcore evidence.

Applying the STAR Technique

Read more

Modern leadership advice tends to glorify “charisma”.

We often like leaders who:

• inspire their team with bold visions

• speak with confidence

• bring “energy” into meetings

And to be fair, charisma isn’t all that bad. It’s helpful when you need to rally your team, or spark motivation.

But it has a hidden (and, should I say, serious) limitation:

Charisma creates emotional spikes. But in practice, leadership requires emotional stability, not spikes.

True, impactful, leadership is built in the ordinary, repetitive, and often unglamorous parts of work:

• How priorities are reinforced

• How decisions are made

• How leaders react under pressure

• How consistently people are treated

And this is exactly why truly effective leadership often looks… a little boring.

To be clear, I’m not talking about boring in the sense of dull or uninspiring, but boring in the sense of being calm, predictable, and steady under pressure.

What Actually Compounds in Leadership

You’ve probably heard about the power of compounding in the context of money, fitness, or habits.

I think the same principle applies in leadership.

Just like:

• Regular exercise builds strength

• Disciplined investing builds wealth

• Repeated habits shape identity

Leadership works the same way. In leadership, the behaviors you repeat become:

• your reputation

• your team’s expectations

• eventually, your culture

The key thing to remember is that teams don’t follow what you say once. They follow what you do repeatedly.

Where “Boring” Leaders Quietly Outperform Everyone Else

You might be thinking: if consistency is what compounds, where does it matter most? Let’s look at five areas where steady, low-drama leadership tends to outperform charisma by a long shot.

1. Consistency in Priorities Builds Clarity

I’ve come across many leaders who, often unintentionally, create noise by:

• introducing new initiatives too frequently

• changing direction without closure

• reacting to urgency instead of reinforcing strategy

They often do this as the sense of ‘motion’ gives them energy. They think they are being ‘agile’ by allowing rapid changes in priority or direction.

But the best leaders do something simpler, and should I say, harder.

They repeat what matters.

They reinforce the same priorities until they become clear and second nature.

💡 What this clarity does is almost magical: it creates alignment, and the team moves faster towards what actually matters.

2. Consistency in Behavior Builds Trust

I once had a manager who would show up differently almost every time I saw him.

• Sometimes he would look stressed and closed

• Sometimes he was loud and provocative

• At other times, he would act friendly and approachable

The challenge for me was: I didn’t know what to expect the next time I met him, so I was always on high alert not to offend him or trigger some emotion.

A study published in the Harvard Business Review highlights that psychological safety, which is the foundation of high-performing teams, is driven by leadership behavior that is consistent, inclusive, and predictable.

My boss was showing the exact opposite behavior.

What I’ve found is that teams trust leaders they can ‘read’:

• how they react under pressure

• how they handle bad news

• how they treat people in disagreement

💡 When you are consistent in behavior, your team will feel more inclined to open up and trust you.

3. Consistency in Follow-Through Builds Credibility

Have you had a manager who would say things like:

• “I’ll get back to you.”

• “Let me look into this.”

• “We’ll fix this.”

And then… nothing happened?

These moments may seem ‘small’, but over time, they accumulate and build your reputation. And, not a great one at that.

A leader’s credibility is not about what they intend to do or what they say they will do. It’s about their actions, their follow-throughs.

💡 Leaders who build strong teams are the ones who consistently follow through on what they say, not just make empty promises.

4. Consistency in Feedback Builds Performance

Many managers treat feedback as an ‘event’.

They set up a formal meeting as part of the annual performance review, read a long list of ‘feedback notes’, and then disappear for another year.

And when they do that, they create everything but actual improvement in performance. The team members end up walking out of that meeting even more confused and anxious.

Great managers treat feedback as a system. They create a rhythm of:

• regular 1:1s

• ongoing coaching

• frequent, low-drama feedback

According to Gallup, employees who receive regular, meaningful feedback are significantly more engaged and productive.

💡 Teams improve faster when feedback is regular enough to be useful,
not dramatic enough to be memorable.

5. Consistency in Values Builds Culture

I’ve worked in teams and organizations where they proudly decorate their office walls with their “value statements”, and show their “culture code” in official slide decks.

But in reality, culture is not what leaders say. It’s what they repeatedly tolerate, reward, and reinforce on the ground.

I once had a manager who would frequently say things like:

• “We value transparency.”

• “We encourage ownership.”

• “People come first.”

But he would end up doing the exact opposite when it came to behavior and action.

A leader’s actions directly translate into the team’s reaction:

• When the leader punishes bad news → the team members start hiding problems

• When the leader micromanages → the team loses the sense of ownership

• When the leader ignores burnout → “people first” becomes just a slogan

And over time, these patterns and behaviors evolve and form the real culture of the team.

💡 In the end, culture isn’t defined by your value statements. It’s defined by what you consistently allow, reward and repeat.

Final Thoughts

The most effective leaders are not always the most magnetic. They are the ones people can count on.

From the outside, they often look… a little boring. They don’t rely on “occasional brilliance”. What they do rely on is repeated behavior.

They build trust through consistency, not intensity.

💬 Curious to hear your perspective: have you worked with a “boring” leader who turned out to be exceptional? Drop your notes in the comments. 👇

Leave a comment

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We were looking back at why so many of our releases had been delayed. As we unpacked the pattern, one root cause stood out: our CI/CD system was unstable. It kept creating delays, rework, and last-minute fire drills. Needless to say, it was a source of frustration for everyone.

By the end of the discussion, we were “aligned”. We all agreed this was a real problem, and one we had to fix.

I left the room feeling good. We had clarity at last. I assumed that clarity would lead to action.

But guess what - it didn’t.

That’s when I realized something uncomfortable: Agreement means nothing if nothing changes.

⚙️ Practitioner Resources

This framework includes the 3 Conditions for Change Worksheet and Mind-map.

• Existing Practitioners: Download these from your Resource Library.

• Not a member yet? Join the ⚙️ Practitioner Ecosystem to unlock these resources, along with full Substack paid access, The Leader’s Playbook, the complete Practice Worksheets library, System Posters & Mind-maps, and the private practitioner community.

Why Most Change Efforts Fail

What I experienced at that offsite is not unusual. In fact, it’s how most change efforts play out.

You identify a problem, discuss it in detail, and align on what needs to be done. The conversation feels “productive”. Everyone understands the issue, and there is agreement on the path forward.

But then things stall.

The new behavior doesn’t show up on the ground. The old patterns creep back up. A few weeks later, you find yourself having the exact same conversation again, wondering why nothing really changed.

Why does this happen? Because nothing actually shifted in how your team thinks and acts. They may “agree” with you, but they aren’t really bought in.

If you start paying attention, you’ll see this pattern everywhere.

• A team agrees to improve quality, but deadlines keep taking priority.

• A group commits to better collaboration, but silos remain.

• A leader sets a new direction, but the team keeps working the old way.

On the surface, everything looks “right”. There is alignment, clarity, and a shared understanding of the problem. But underneath, something is missing.

And until you see what that is, you will keep solving the wrong problem.

Most leaders assume that change fails because people don’t “understand”. So they respond by explaining more, adding detail, and repeating the message in different ways.

But understanding alone was never the issue, and that’s why nothing actually changes.

The Psychology of Change

The mistake most leaders make is assuming that people are rational.

If something makes sense, they believe people will do it. It feels logical, almost obvious. After all, if the reasoning is sound and the benefits are clear, why wouldn’t people act? I had the same exact belief, too.

But that’s not how people work.

Think about your own life for a moment. There are things you already understand that you should be doing. You know you should exercise more, or spend less time on your phone, or have that difficult conversation you’ve been putting off. The logic is not missing, and the benefits are clear. And yet, you struggle to take action.

That gap between knowing and doing is where most change efforts break down.

And the reason is simple. Humans are emotional beings, and we don’t act based on logic alone. We act based on a combination of logic, emotion, and instinct.

No doubt - logic is important. It helps us understand the issue at hand, and answers the question, “Does this make sense?”

But understanding, by itself, rarely creates movement. For something to move, it has to matter. You need to care about the outcome in a real, deep way. It has to connect to something you value, something you feel.

Remember what I mentioned earlier - we are, at the very core, emotional beings.

But logic and emotions are also not enough for real change. There is still one more “barrier”, if you like.

Change often involves risk. It asks people to step into uncertainty, to try something new, to let go of what feels familiar. For humans, and for that matter, any living being, that’s uncomfortable. We crave familiarity, and our fear hormones (aka adrenaline) get triggered the moment we’re faced with something unfamiliar.

So you end up in a situation where people understand the change, and may even agree with it, but still don’t act because one of the deeper drivers of action is missing.

And unless you address those drivers, no amount of explaining will create real change.

The 3 Conditions for Change

So, what are those drivers for real change?

In my experience, change happens only when three conditions are present. Miss even one, and you’re likely to struggle with driving the change.

I call these the three conditions for change or the Change Triangle.

Let’s look at each of these conditions in a bit more detail.

Condition #1: Willingness (Head)

Willingness lives in the head. This is where our logical brain works to ‘understand’ the issue at hand.

Your team needs to see the problem, make sense of it, and believe that the change is valid. Without this, you will only get confusion. They will ask basic questions, or simply won’t get the “need” to change.

This is where most leaders spend their time. They explain the problem, share the data, and walk through the reasoning.

Condition #2: Desire (Heart)

Desire lives in the heart. This is about whether people actually care.

Do they want this change to happen? Does it connect to something that matters to them, whether that’s pride in their work, less frustration, or better outcomes for their team?

When desire is missing, you may not see open resistance. You may see something more dangerous. Your team members will nod, agree, but not fully ‘align’ with the need for change. They will see the change as someone else’s priority, not theirs.

Condition #3: Courage (Gut)

Courage comes from the gut. This is what turns intent into action.

Now, let’s face it: change often involves risk. It means trying something new, exposing gaps, or stepping out of a comfortable routine. Even when your team understands the change and wants it, they may still hesitate.

When courage is missing, you see delays, avoidance, and a tendency to fall back on old habits, especially under pressure.

How These Three Conditions Work Together

As we discussed, each of these conditions matters individually. But real change only happens when all three come together.

• You can have willingness without desire. That’s when people understand the change, but don’t care enough to act.

• You can have desire without courage. That’s when people want the change, but hesitate when it’s time to take action.

• You can have courage without willingness. That’s when people aren’t afraid to plunge into action, but they don’t know which direction to go, so the action becomes pointless.

The way I think about this is simple.

• Willingness gives you clarity.

• Desire gives you energy.

• Courage gives you movement.

To make any change effective, you need all three.

So how do you drive change effectively? Let’s look into that next.

How to Drive Change in Your Team

Read more

What struck me wasn’t just that he enjoys the game, but how he plays it.

The same child who rushes through homework or gets distracted easily suddenly becomes intensely focused. He pauses, evaluates, and thinks.

And in those moments, I see a level of strategic thinking that surprises me.

It made me reflect on something deeper.

Chess is well-known as the game of strategy, but its lessons extend far beyond the board. Over the years, I’ve come to appreciate how these principles shape not just better players, but better leaders.

In this article, I’ll share five timeless chess principles that can help you master the art of strategic leadership.

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Principle #1. Think Ahead

Ever wondered what chess players do most of the time?

They think.

And they don’t just think. They think ahead, well into the future of the game.

Skillful players plan multiple moves ahead and have a long-term vision of the game. Their ultimate goal is to win the game.

For example, a player may choose to sacrifice a pawn in the current move to create a strong position or launch an attack several moves later. Maybe the pawn’s end brings a new angle, a new perspective to the game. Maybe it opens up the field for the rook, or the bishop. Or it just distracts the opponent.

Either way, chess masters keep their eyes on the final outcome the entire time, while skillfully inching move-by-move closer to it. They see small intentional losses as milestones that lead them to their goal, instead of getting emotionally attached to them.

Similar to chess players, effective strategic leaders develop a vision for the future, and set long-term goals and objectives for their organization.

As a strategic leader, you must always, and I say always, drive toward the vision and mission.

You should be willing to make decisions today that are going to reap benefits in the future.

As an example, a tech company may choose to invest in research and development for a new product idea that may take years to develop, but has the potential to revolutionize the industry.

👉🏼 As a strategic leader, you keep your eyes on the mission and vision.

Frameworks to set the vision and purpose:

Principle #2. Anticipate Your Opponent’s Move

Have you noticed how chess players seem to be lost in thought, almost frozen in their position?

Well, they’re not exactly frozen. They are observing.

They observe the opponent’s moves far in the game, and their expressions, and pick up other visual and non-visual cues to stay one step ahead of their opponent.

Is he nervous, confident, or lost? Is she planning an attack? Am I missing a smart move?

A chess master takes all these hints and cues, and anticipates and builds a mental map of what the opponent’s game plan might be. And they feed that into their own counter-strategy and use that to launch a counter-attack later.

Similar to a chess player, as a strategic leader, you must keep your eyes and ears open at all times.

You should keep abreast with the latest developments in your industry, anticipate market trends, customer behaviors, competitor strategies, and any other external factors that may affect your organization and your mission.

You should be intimately familiar with your organization’s strengths and weaknesses, and be aware of external opportunities and threats that might come knocking on your doors.

The last thing you want to do is sit tight and ignore what is happening around you.

You need to strategize where your organization is headed, what forces are working in favor and against it, and what moves you need to take as a leader to guide it in the right direction.

👉🏼 As a strategic leader, you are aware of external opportunities and threats that impact you and your teams.

Frameworks to stay ahead of your competition:

Principle #3. Decide Your Next Move

Every move in chess, however innocent it might seem to the observers, involves decision-making.

Skillful chess players review scores of factors before making the decision: the current state of the board, the available resources, the opponent’s potential moves, the risks involved, etc. They run mental calculations, and analyze the permutations and combinations of their moves, before arriving at the final decision.

And they do this on Every. Single. Move.

For example, a player may choose to change his opening strategy based on the opponent’s playing style. And continue to calibrate every single move based on the previous move.

Just like a chess player makes decisions on every move, as a strategic leader you make decisions daily.

The nature and complexity of the decisions vary, from the choice of room we want to reserve for your next meeting, to who we want to promote on our team, or who should be let go.

As a strategic leader, you need to make decisions by analyzing the current situation, the risks involved, and understanding the implications in your organization.

As an example, to decide who on your team should be promoted, you need to review multiple factors beyond just their performance in the recent quarter/year: Is this person ready to take on the senior role? Do we have the budget and need for this position? Is this the right move for the organization as a whole?

👉🏼 As a strategic leader, you make thoughtful decisions every day.

Frameworks to make strategic bets and calculated decisions:

Principle #4. Adapt Your Strategy

Chess players are masters at adaptation.

They adapt their strategies based on their opponent’s moves, and the evolving dynamics of the game.

They continue to evolve their strategy and their approach with every move.

For example, if the opponent throws a curveball by unexpectedly sacrificing their rook, it is worth thinking and adjusting the game plan. Was that a stupid move? Is the opponent playing a mental game? Am I missing something obvious?

A player who starts defensively may become a super-aggressive player later in the game as the game evolves, and vice versa.

That is the beauty, and power, of adaptation.

Similar to a chess player, as a strategic leader, you must adapt your strategies and plans based on changes around you.

During the recent COVID-19 pandemic, there was a massive movement of customers to online platforms. This prompted leaders to evolve and adapt their business strategies so they could tap into and align with this new reality. Now, with the evolution of Artificial Intelligence, leaders are thinking about how they can leverage the power of AI to simplify workflows, and improve their team’s productivity.

👉🏼 As a strategic leader, you evolve your strategy continuously.

Frameworks to manage change and adaptation:

Principle #5. Manage Your Resources

Each chess player starts with exactly 16 pieces.

Each of those pieces has a specific value, a specific trait, and the player must manage these resources efficiently to gain an advantage.

A pawn is different from a bishop. A bishop is different from a knight. A knight is different from a queen.

Each of these pieces has its unique strengths and weaknesses. A skillful chess player knows how to use the pieces so they can work together as a team.

A grandmaster can win a game with 1/3 of the pieces, because he knows how to effectively use those pieces. He can coordinate the movement of the pieces around the board, and implement his strategy effectively.

Just like chess players have limited resources, as a leader you too have limited resources available at your disposal, whether it is human capital, financial resources, or other assets.

You must allocate the budget and people to different projects or initiatives to maximize the value generated.

As a strategic leader, you know the individuals in your team, and their strengths and weaknesses, and allocate assignments and roles to them to maximize the chances of success.

You create an environment and culture of trust and belonging, so your team members are motivated and energized to bring their best to the team.

👉🏼 As a strategic leader, you manage your resources efficiently and effectively.

Frameworks to manage resources efficiently:

Final Thoughts and Takeaways

Chess and strategic leadership have a lot in common.

Success in each of those requires a combination of foresight, adaptability, effective decision-making, and the ability to manage resources and risks.

In this article, we discussed the five timeless chess principles that leaders can apply to level up their strategic leadership skills:

1. Think Ahead. Chess players think and plan several moves ahead to stay on top of their game. Similarly, strategic leaders should be thinking and driving their organization toward the long-term vision and goals.

2. Anticipate the Opponent’s Move. Skillful chess players can anticipate what their opponent is thinking by reading cues and making inferences from the gameplay. Similarly, strategic leaders should be abreast of the competitive environment, and anticipate the opportunities and threats that may come their way.

3. Decide Your Next Move. Every chess move is a decision that needs to consider scores of factors. Similarly, leaders should weigh factors and risks when they make decisions to move their organization forward.

4. Adapt Your Strategy. Chess players adapt their strategy as the game progresses. Similarly, leaders should be always ready to adapt and evolve their strategy to stay competitive.

5. Manage Your Resources. Every chess player starts with exactly 16 pieces, and must skillfully manage those resources through the entire game. Similarly, leaders should be strategic and thoughtful about how they want to use their resources to maximize the returns.

Which of these principles resonates the most with you? Let me know in the comments! 👇

Leave a comment

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In my one-on-one meeting, after acknowledging the work, he looked me dead in the eyes and asked, “What’s the boldest goal we have set this year?”

For a few seconds, I froze. I couldn’t think of anything.

The truth was, while we had had a stellar year, we hadn’t set any “bold” goals. We had been playing it safe - comfortable goals that we knew we could achieve.

That question stayed with me for days until I finally came across the concept of Big Hairy Audacious Goals (or BHAGs). It was the answer I was looking for.

In this article, we will learn how BHAGs work, how you can set them, and most importantly, how you can achieve them.

Here’s what we will cover:

• What are BHAGs?

• The Science Behind BHAGs

• Setting BHAGs

• Strategies to Achieve Your BHAG

• The BHAG Worksheet & Mind-map

• Common Mistakes to Avoid

• Further Reading

• Final Takeaway

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What are BHAGs?

Big Hairy Audacious Goals - or B-HAGs - were coined by Jim Collins and Jerry Porras in their book Built to Last.

Unlike typical goals, BHAGs are bold, visionary, and ambitious targets that seem nearly impossible at first glance. But with the right strategy, they’re completely achievable.

BHAGs are an intersection of:

1. What your organization is deeply passionate about.

2. What you can be the best at in the world.

3. What drives your economic engine.

The key is for the goal to be ambitious, and inspiring, yet still economically relevant and an area in which your organization holds expertise.

BHAGs are meant to challenge you and your team, push boundaries, and propel your organization to new heights.

Looking for some inspiration? Here are some popular BHAGs:

SpaceX: “Enable human exploration and settlement of Mars”

Meta: “Make the world more open and connected” and “Give everyone the power to share anything with anyone.”

Google: “Organize the world’s information and make it universally accessible and useful”

Microsoft (early days): “Put a computer on every desk and in every home.”

Boeing (1950): “Become the dominant player in commercial aircraft and bring the world into the jet age.”

The Science Behind BHAGs

Studies show that setting ambitious goals has a significant impact on performance. A survey by Harvard Business Review found that teams with clear, bold objectives are 37% more likely to outperform those with vague or moderate goals. Another report by Gallup indicated that employees who are involved in bold goal-setting are 3.6 times more engaged at work.

In short, if you want your team to be more engaged, motivated, and productive, you may want to try setting BHAGs.

Setting BHAGs

In this section, you will learn how to set BHAGs in your role as a leader.

• We will start by reviewing the 4 Steps to Setting a BHAG, a simple yet powerful process that you can start using right away.

• But setting BHAGs is not enough. We will then discuss some strategies you can adopt to achieve your BHAGs.

• Finally, we will make it real with the BHAGs Worksheet and the BHAGs Mind-map, which will help you build your muscle in applying and using this framework in your leadership role.

The 4 Steps to Setting a BHAG

Read more

As leaders, we often find ourselves caught in the whirlwind of our job’s daily demands: constantly responding to emails, attending meetings, overseeing operations, and making decisions.

With all that “busy-ness,” we manage to convince ourselves that our presence is required for the smooth functioning of our teams and projects.

“If I miss responding to an email, or do not attend a meeting, it will derail the project.” — what a manager believes

But what happens when you step away? What happens if you don’t respond to that urgent email or give that high-profile meeting a miss?

Recently, I took a two-week vacation and (almost) completely disconnected from work emails and calls. Upon my return, I discovered a number of leadership lessons that I’m sharing in this article.

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Going on Vacation

Before diving into the lessons learned, let me set the stage. I’ve been leading a team of smart people for several years now, including managers, senior technical leaders, and their extended teams. We’ve worked hard to build a culture of trust, belonging, and open communication.

Despite this, I’d always felt a nagging worry about stepping away for an extended period.

What if something went wrong? What if critical decisions were delayed?

These concerns had previously led me to check in regularly during vacations, never fully disconnecting.

I would steal a glance or two at my email while waiting in line at the Disneyland queue or respond to a Slack message while waiting for our food to be served at a restaurant. Sound familiar?

This time was different.

I made a conscious decision to completely unplug for two full weeks.

No email checks, no quick calls.

Nothing.

I informed my team well in advance, ensured all ongoing projects had clear directions, and then… (oh my) I left…

The Return

Coming back to the office after two weeks of radio silence, it was difficult for me to pick up my laptop to check my email. I braced myself for an avalanche of emails with issues, delayed decisions, and a ton of things I needed to follow up on.

But guess what: to my utter surprise (with a mix of relief and amazement), I found none of that.

Instead, I was greeted by a team that had not just maintained the status quo but had thrived in my absence. Projects were on track, decisions had been made confidently, and any issues that had arisen were handled efficiently.

Even though I had shared my phone number so they could reach me during emergencies, nobody called. The team promptly took care of the customer escalations and production issues that came up during the time and even conducted a blameless postmortem (which I was frankly quite impressed with).

The Lessons

I eventually came to terms with what had happened and was nothing but proud (and I must say, a bit emotional) of my team.

As I started thinking about this from a leadership context, several profound realizations popped into my head:

💡Lesson #1 — Trust is the Foundation of Effective Leadership

The smooth operation of the team in my absence highlighted the importance of trust.

By stepping back, I had given my team the ultimate vote of confidence. This trust was well deserved, and they rose to the occasion magnificently.

They felt empowered to make the decisions they did and to respond to the escalations the way they did.

👉🏼 Lesson: Building a foundation of trust is crucial. When team members feel trusted, they’re more likely to take initiative, make decisions, and handle challenges independently.

🛠️ Frameworks to build trust:

💡Lesson #2 — Empowerment Leads to Growth

My absence created a space that allowed team members to step up and take on more responsibility.

They made decisions they might have previously deferred to me if I were around or available. They stepped up and solved the problems that presented themselves in a thoughtful and creative manner.

👉🏼 Lesson: Regularly stepping back (even when not on vacation) can create opportunities for team members to grow and develop their skills.

🛠️ Frameworks to build empowerment:

💡Lesson #3 — Clear Processes Matter More Than Constant Oversight

The fact that operations continued smoothly was a testament to the fact that we had strong processes in place.

The decision-making processes, clear lines of ownership and accountability, and the engineering processes and systems all functioned smoothly and guided the team’s actions and decisions in my absence.

👉🏼 Lesson: Invest time in developing clear, robust processes and systems. They’re the backbone that supports your team and makes your operations smoother and more efficient.

🛠️ Frameworks to set systems and processes:

💡Lesson #4 — Overinvolvement Isn’t Always Necessary

I realized that my constant availability, quick responses, and frequent check-ins might have been more about my own need for control than actual necessity.

During my absence, the team proved they could handle day-to-day operations and even significant decisions without constant communication or involvement from me.

👉🏼 Lesson: Trust your team to come to you when they truly need input. Constant availability can sometimes hinder rather than help. Only get involved where truly necessary.

🛠️ Frameworks to lead better by “getting out of the way”:

💡Lesson #5 — A Leader’s True Value Isn’t in Daily Operations

Seeing the team function so well in my absence made me reflect on where I add the most value as a leader.

It’s not in the day-to-day decision-making or problem-solving.

The place I should be spending most of my time is in the strategic aspect of my role: setting the vision, developing talent, and creating opportunities for my team to grow and develop.

👉🏼 Lesson: Focus your energy on high-level strategy and team development rather than getting bogged down in daily operations. Your team can handle those better than you can.

🛠️ Frameworks to spend time strategically:

💡Lesson #6 — Delegating Isn’t Just About Tasks, It’s About Authority

Many managers believe that delegation is about assigning “tasks” to their team members. This couldn’t be further from the truth.

This experience demonstrated the importance of delegating authority, not just the tasks. By being unavailable, I had unintentionally given my team the authority to make decisions, and they handled it admirably.

If you only delegate tasks, you are giving them a budget to spend while keeping the purse strings tight and expecting them to come to you for every spend. And we all know how suffocating that can be.

👉🏼 Lesson: Effective delegation involves transferring not just tasks, but also the authority to make decisions related to those tasks.

🛠️ Frameworks to delegate authority:

💡Lesson #7 — A Well-Prepared Team is a Resilient Team

The smooth operation during my absence was a testament to the team’s capability, skills, and drive.

It told me that all the years of effort we had spent on training, building domain knowledge, and the skills specific to their roles had paid off.

👉🏼 Lesson: Invest heavily in preparing your team and equipping them with the right resources to get their job done. The more knowledgeable and capable they are, the more resilient your organization becomes.

🛠️ Frameworks to provide support and coaching:

💡Lesson #8 — Sometimes, Stepping Back Allows Others to Step Up

My absence created opportunities for team members to step up and showcase their leadership skills and their initiative, which may otherwise have gone unnoticed.

Those who proactively rose to the occasion and took on the challenge showed great potential in taking on leadership roles.

👉🏼 Lesson: Periodically create opportunities for team members to lead, even when you’re not on vacation. It can reveal hidden talents and future leaders, and automatically build up your leadership pipeline.

🛠️ Frameworks to support growth:

💡Lesson #9 — The Importance of Work-Life Balance

The fact that the world didn’t fall apart while I was on vacation reinforced the importance of work-life balance.

In all honesty, I have never enjoyed and really “experienced” a vacation like I did this time around. I was able to be with my family both physically and mentally, which helped me to relax and rejuvenate.

👉🏼 Lesson: Model good work-life balance practices. It benefits you, sets a positive example for your team, and keeps your team at their best levels of performance.

🛠️ Frameworks to develop the right balance of stress vs safety:

💡Lesson #10 — Ultimately, Leadership is About Creating Other Leaders

Perhaps the most profound realization was that true leadership isn’t about making yourself indispensable.

It’s about developing a team that can function effectively, with or without you.

In fact, the best leaders are always looking to make themselves redundant. That is the holy grail of leadership.

👉🏼 Lesson: Your success as a leader should be measured by how well your team performs in your absence.

🛠️ Frameworks to develop your team:

Final Thoughts

As leaders, we often fall into the trap of thinking that we constantly need to be connected, even when on vacation.

But what I realized after my two-week vacation was this:

As a leader, sometimes the best gift you can give your team is to step back, trust them, and let them shine.

💬 What was your biggest takeaway from your most recent vacation? Share your story in the comments! 👇

Leave a comment

🛠️ Take the Next Step in Your Leadership Journey

⚙️ Master the Systems: Join the Practitioner Ecosystem to unlock all the resources you need to practice leadership in real situations, including Practice Worksheets, Mind-maps, The Leader’s Playbook, Visual Guides, full Substack paid access, and access to the exclusive Practitioner community.

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